By Aisha Zahira.
Midway through Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black, Cookie Mueller writes, “Believing that life will someday be wonderful isn’t a bad thing, it is absolutely necessary.” It’s a surprising placement for this statement, coming after a tectonic construction of the stories of her life, all of which are exemplified by a presence – a presence of community, of place, of art – which she now refers to as a fleeting happiness. Mueller admits she cannot teach you how to live – no one can do that – instead presenting a life embodied, not something to leave on the sidelines.
Contained somewhat in North America thus far, Cookie Mueller is known for her collaborations with the filmmaker John Waters, her column ‘Ask Dr. Mueller,’ and her role in the ’70s/’80s art scene.
Despite her divergent roles, Mueller’s tone of certainty remains remarkable throughout the collection, even during her troubling moments. She is not merely retelling, but is reconciling the events in real-time and, though each one circulates a familiar structure, constrained within a few pages, Mueller’s tales remain fascinating in their incessant desire to understand people and, by extension, life. Whether she’s making friends with a pig farmer or striking a conversation with the Manson family, she does so with pluck, frustrating any future attempts to romanticize her.
Her wit guides us through the map of her life, all the way through to her ‘Last Letter,’ which she shares with her friend, Gordon Stevenson, who would die of AIDs. Mueller soon follows and, hence, his last letter becomes hers, entrenching her ultimate message — the necessity of community.
For better or worse, Mueller lives without fear, without the need to toe around preconceptions. She remains in dialogue with her hardships but takes us along as she handles, and then propels forth. It becomes a privilege to not only witness her experiences but to be invited into them alongside her.
Aisha Zahira is a writer living in Manchester.
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