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By. C. Celestine

ethelinda did a tarot reading 4 me 

the first card i pulled out was halál 

                                                            happy birthday 2 me 

ethelinda says – unlike caskets
coffins have six sides to them instead of four

& babygirl    u have coffin-hands                         

ur a chalk fairy
      u bring death 2 the dying ones 

ethelinda, como você é linda

& then      i leave the tent, i leave myself       

1.  don’t reply to texts
2.  never call ur friends when things get bad

i call 4 help 4 everyone but myself 

maybe things would be different if someone called 4 help 

when I needed it best
    but no authority & no adult eva did 

it’s been snowing cocaine since then 
      in may i forgot myself –

on a bookshelf & u try 2 read me
    u treat me like a bed-time story 

i try to say no – like i did in april
    but my tongue got tired & my thoughts got
i despise myself & my hypocrisy
    & all the meat eaters 

i let him stick a knife in me
  but nothing comes out – my blood is all powdered

i cross my boundaries
    then watch myself airplane-crash 

people tell me to believe   in the goodness   in redemption    in me 

that’s easy to say, 4 a cottage-core babe like urself 

for i give u my sweetness
my core-nectar  my goldfish-vision  my fairy-dust 

& all that’s left 4 me
at the end of the day

is a peach pit.

C. Celestine is a poet and a student of Marital and Family Therapy from Slovenia. She was a finalist for the 2015 Župančičeva frulica National Poetry Competition. In the same year she won a first place in a literary maraton Rdeča jabolka: Pismo mojemu očetu. In 2020 Christine won a literary competition titled Iztiskanje črnine s črnilom. In her free time you can find her snuggling her cat Lui or writing poems online under @sincerely.celestine.

One response

  1. Charlie

    This poem is one of the best I read in a long time. It takes you through whirlwind of emotions, I really enjoyed the style that’s so direct and personal.

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