By Jack Chylinski
Jack blows the whistle.
ALRIGHT TEAM REPEAT AFTER ME: I AM HOT! I AM DUMB! I AM KIND!
“Get Your Head In The Game” (Karaoke Track) begins to play.
For too long people have bastardized the term “Himbo” to justify their meat headed meanie misogynistic sensibilities. We must take back what’s ours and reclaim himboism.
Himboism is a healthy form of masculinity. You don’t need to be jacked or cisgender, you don’t even need to be a dude in order to claim Himboism. you just need to live by three rules:
Jack reveals the rules of Himboism on a rolling chalkboard that are written upside down.
1.Be Hot. 2. Be Dumb. 3. Be Kind.
The Himbo Trifecta.
- Hotness. Hotness is a lifestyle. It’s about taking care of yourself. It’s wearing what makes you feel sexy and knowing it. Anyone can be hot if you have the power to believe that you are hot.
- Dumbness. Dumbness is an energy. It is not about a lack of intelligence. It’s about presence. Dumbness must not be conflated with willful ignorance. Himbos stand up in the face of injustice even when they can’t thoughtfully articulate why it’s wrong.
- Kindness. Kindness is an attitude. It requires a warm heart. Kindness must not be confused for niceness. Niceness is smiling with enemies to keep the peace. Kindness is radical honesty fueled by compassion.
Now that we know the rules, we’ve got to go out there and give it all we’ve got. In the game of life, we play for the himbos.
Jack shoots the basketball they’ve been holding into the basket.
Jack Chylinski is a bitch, lover, child, mother, comedian, actor, musician and writer based in the Chicagoland area. Their writing currently ruminates on the trials, errors and mediocre tribulations experienced while navigating the gradient landscape of sexuality and gender. Along with oversharing on the page and stage, Jack loves to do deep dives on internet pop culture, lose their voice at drag shows and play with their dog, Pippin.
Beautifully written! Made me laugh. Love it.