What if things go south and you’re reminded that there wasn’t even technically anything there to be upset about in the first place? Continue reading What I Thought About Normal People
I am in probably the most stable period of my entire life and yet somehow I am longing for a time where I was skinnier, but absolutely miserable. Continue reading My old pants don’t fit me anymore
If you’re tired of being scared about the state of the actual world, perhaps try instead being scared of a haunted murderous lake woman and metaphorical mouse traps. Continue reading Real-life Coping Mechanisms, Let’s Discuss
I’m blacklisted from at least two library networks. Continue reading The Unbearable Paradox of Deadlines
Nirvana had it wrong. We should not in fact be all apologies. Continue reading Say What?
It’s like in movies when someone time travels and accidentally makes it so that someone wasn’t born. Except they were born. And they treated you like garbage. Continue reading Photoshopping My Ex-boyfriends Out of Photos
I wondered whether the mail carrier had noticed I’d planted new flowers in the bed by the driveway. Continue reading A Dispatch From My Second Summer Gardening
Maybe god is a bug and this is karma for all of the bugs we have killed. Continue reading Where Did All My Straws Go?