What Frank Had to Say to God Almighty
“Do you forgive me?” God called after him. Continue reading What Frank Had to Say to God Almighty
Category: What Happened When Frank Died
What Happened When Frank Learned to Count
People milled about with clipboards, making notes with short black pencils. Continue reading What Happened When Frank Learned to Count
What Happened When Frank Fell in the Forest
Orthodontist, Bob growled. Continue reading What Happened When Frank Fell in the Forest
How Frank Learned To Fight for the Gods
Frank died. Frank died. Frank died. Continue reading How Frank Learned To Fight for the Gods
Why Frank Went Searching for a Towel
By Benjamin Davis Welcome to “What Happened When Frank Died.” In this column, for as long as I’m allowed, I’m going to kill Frank. Like—a lot. Worse, every two weeks, he will then be subjected to a multiverse of afterlives: absurd, funny, brutal, depressing, wild, creepy, heart-wrenching afterlives. Some will be based on existing theories, some on my own demented imaginings. In each, Frank will begin … Continue reading Why Frank Went Searching for a Towel
Why Frank Ate Brains for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
Frank found himself drawn to a group of others. Continue reading Why Frank Ate Brains for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
When Frank Went for a Walk in the Wood
He moved slower and slower, each creaking step, his knuckles becoming knobs, his fingers blossoming into thick black leaves as he slammed an arm down on the branch of the tree. Continue reading When Frank Went for a Walk in the Wood
Why Frank Chose His Family Over an Eternal Orgy
“Go on, ask your questions, you guys always have them.” Continue reading Why Frank Chose His Family Over an Eternal Orgy
What Happened When Frank Stopped Dancing
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes! Continue reading What Happened When Frank Stopped Dancing
Because Frank Could Not Stop for Death She Kindly Stopped for Him
“What is the average number of pickles you can fit in a pickle jar?” he said. He looked down at her with an eyebrow raised and went on. “Hm, how many smoked ham bones can a three-hundred-pound man eat before he dies?” Continue reading Because Frank Could Not Stop for Death She Kindly Stopped for Him
